A Royal Princess on her way ....

The first time I went to the doctor and we saw the scan with Michael, it was unbelievable. I was not prepared. My mind said, "let's wait until 2010, that will be perfect timing, after the Apostolic Program". My heart said, "i want one! :) i want to share more of the love i have".

I have always channeled all the love I received from God to the lovely gals He put under my care. I love them with all my heart and soul and strength, with every ability I can to raise them up spiritually, some naturally where there was a lack of input at times. And, yes I admit, I always have and will always want my own kids and my un-realistic dream was to be a mother by 23! (Haha, that was a childhood dream that I came to terms with as an adult, and I left it to God when I chose my life path as a pastor. Like my previous quote from Kris' site, it didn't even feel like a sacrifice, it was out of my passion for Him).

And so, at the first scan, we saw a little bean like thing through that monitor! And the doctor said, "ok la, that's why you don't have appetite and can't work" and he laughed and said congratulations. Michael looked in awe, cause that's how I first saw him and I know the feeling. Wow. Wilson just kept smiling as usual. That's the part we're the same I guess, in nervousness and joy he will smile, I will smile, but what is running through our brains, only God knows. Rejoice in Christ always you see! So smile la.

The second checkup a week later was normal, routine. Doctor just said eat more, drink more and don't worry about the vomiting. Reality still sinking into me. Everday I hear my thoughts and I know it was many times the Holy Spirit telling me all the good things and whenever worry would come in, like we're not prepared, this is to sudden, money issues, we're still renting a place, who is going to take care and stuff. My mind would start to think about Ps. David's preaching last Sunday, the jokes from Ps. Joseph Prince sermon, a song or two, the Left Behind books I'm reading or the Reader's Digest or my Victory Magazine.

In that situation of shock, I couldn't read much solid stuff (I missed reading my books on God then..) or my Bible much. That was the time I really knew, all those times I spent in the presence of God, focusing at Him really came through for me. God overtook my brain everyday because my body in the first 3 months felt so weak. I had to sleep so often because I ate so little then. Like Pastor D always tells us, a weak spirit can lead to a weak body and soul. And a strong spirit can even carry a weak body and soul to be strong.

Third checkup was good, cause I started eating more! YAY! Food and me are good friends! Dieting is always a no-no. The scan we saw again the little bean looking thing, and I was more real by then. I'm three months now. It started to be more exciting, we're looking and seeing it jumping all over the screen. Wilson and I said, the baby is having a party in there. The doctor took a long time to get a good picture to check the spinal cord and nasal bone formation.

Fourth checkup, doctor is happy with everything. Scan again to try to see if he can check the gender, and well as usual the baby is partying in there, moving everywhere and didn't want to be in a revealing position.

So today, the fifth checkup ... :) Our little princess is on the way. The girls are happy, they can start their shopping now. The theme of pink and cute stuff is now known. Wilson has been planning, if a girl he'll teach her to go on his bikes, a boy he'll teach him to fly. Both will be loved and spoiled in all our love anyway.



So to my dear princess,

One day you will read this blog and you will know how you came about. Who are all those "jie jie" and "gor gor" and aunties and uncles who surround you once every week, they will teach you MSN or Facebook if it is still around when your big! They will take photo's of you, pose with you, hug you, kiss you, take you out. Love will never be something you lack because your parents know the source of Love, and His Love can't run out.

More than a house over your head, you will grow knowing the Provider of the house, His kingdow is your inheritance

More than the beautiful things you will wear, you will know the Giver of Life

More than the love you will receive from us, you will know the Ultimate Lover of your soul

More than the money we can give you (til you earn yours), you will know the Source of all Blessings and your Faith that will unlock it

More than anything this world has, you will know your eternal home, eternal future, eternal reward and the great destiny you have to reign in life with your Creator :)

The greatest gift we can give to you apart from all other gifts in this world is to let you grow up as a Royal Princess of the Most High King. May you grow up knowing you have every right to walk to Him, into His throne room to talk, to play, to discuss, to listen, and to carry out His desires for you and the world around you. You are most welcomed there as you are most welcomed into our home.

With all the love we have ... Your mum, dad, and all those girls whom I love dearly (ok and recently some guys too).

Quote's

Passion can deliver us from sacrifice. Religion has a high value for self-abasement. Long prayers, huge fasts are the core practices of self denial that hasten to lead to favor with God.

But passion always looks like sacrifice to those who aren’t in love.

from Kris Vallotton

Hope...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life (Proverbs 13:12)

What do you feel when you see and read this verse? In my prayer time just now, memories of who I was flooded my thoughts. I was reading Kris Valloton's book on "The Supernatural Ways of Royalty".

- I remembered there was a long period of time when I could not fall off to sleep without crying, asking the Lord, when He would remove the pain and scars of life (wont tell you what it is la..God has already healed them, don't lift up the mercy seat! )
- I remembered there was a time when I came to a realisation that my strength had become my greatest weaknesses
- I remembered the times when I was growing up as a Christian, I felt so empty, useless, unloved and the whole long list can go on

Did I feel like that each day as a Christian? No

But it did dominate many years of my life, which caused regret and lots of negative feelings.

God brought back to my remembrance the personal notes i jotted down from reading during those times. He has used it to comfort my heart then and even now.

Here it is:

A weakness is any limitation that you inherited or have no power to change. It may be a physical limitation, like a handicap, a chronic illness, naturally low energy, or a disability. It may be an emotional limitation, such as a trauma scar, a hurtful memory, a personality quirk, or a hereditary disposition.

For when you are weak, then He is strong. The less you have, the more you will depend on Him

Be content with you weaknesses, because weaknesses will lead you to depend on God

Moses was proud, Gideon had self esteem problems and insecurities, Abraham the Father of Faith was fearful, Peter was impulsive and weak willed, David committed adultery, John whom Jesus called the Apostle of Love was also known as a Son of Thunder!

Glory in your weaknesses (Because God is going to turn it around!)

... Other people are going to find healing in my wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts ...

God told me in prayer that He is raising up His children to glory in Him. To glory where once there was pain and suffering. What the devil has meant to tear down and pull down God will raise up. He is raising up His sons and daughters to arise to a position of authority in this world to rule and reign with Him. He has big plans, amen to that. And our God has a big heart. When we are weak, He is strong.

So let's always run to Him! His love will melt your heart like it has melted mine over and over again to stand back up, to stand for Him.

My life has changed in His love, so will yours.

If today was your last day :.

What would you do if today was your last day?
Would you treat it like there's no tomorrow? That's how i felt when i heard this song. It has make my train of thought to really think and ponder on what am i doing today that is affecting tomorrow?

When I first saw this MTV on Astro, i was amazed at the ending, when the guy took out the money from the bank and started giving it out. The images started to spark a curiosity in my mind, what MTV is this? Wow.. Few weeks passed, and I finally knew that it's a Nickelback song. So here it is:

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Buzzing in my mind..

I picked up my guitar after a long time. And, somehow I started hearing this song in my head, it's been buzzing in my head ....

Song no 1 : More Than Life by Hillsongs
I especially like the verses ... To stand by what He has said.

Stand by everything You said
Stand by the promises we made
Let go of everything I've done
I'll run into Your open arms
And all I know

Chorus:
I love You more than life
I love You more than life

Fall back on everything You've done
Fall back on everlasting arms
When all the world is swept away
You are all the things I need
You're the air I breathe

How can it be, You were the one on the cross
Lifted for all our shame?
How can it be, he scars in Your hands are for me?
You are the king of all





Song no 2 : So Amazing by Planetshakers
(can't find a youtube for this one... )

This love You have for me
It goes beyond my wildest dreams
So unbelievable, yet so amazing
I'm lost for words

Time and again You reach out for me
Looking past my faults You see my destiny
Your hands of love I feel it touch me and set me free

I will praise You Jesus
All my Days
Sing of all Your great deeds
And Your ways
I will worship now and ever more
Love so amazing

I adore

Next post up will be : Expecting the unexpected! The last 3 months

Love .. from Kris Vallotton's site

Wow, I read this post when a friend uploaded the link on Facebook. And, it melted my heart. It's beautifully written, and I give due credits to the author.

Check out their website http://www.kvministries.com/

as per Kris' 12 July blog entry ...

July 12

Love Flourishes-by Jason Vallotton

Most of this letter was written while listening to Josh Garrels “don’t wait for me”. I highly recommend listening to the same type of music while reading the note… Enjoy.

Love’s flourish is a divine and irrefutable gift, a burning thing; a real and live emblem of why we are here. Its heat melts even the hardest of hearts. Human knowledge of this most magnificent emotion can never truly comprehend all that is love; so I dig and dig and love and hurt and learn and then love some more. I live life unaware that tomorrow could hold love’s great trove, yet upon finding it I feel as if it were mine all along.

Love is more than feeling or receiving. It is not an easy task requiring halfhearted effort. No, love beckons much, calling for all courage and will. I am not immune to love’s trials and when they arrive I must fight back. With all perseverance and strength I must pick myself up and continue on. In my sweet marriage I watched love bud in preparation for maturity’s blossom. We tended to its delicate growth and every year pruned off the mistakes allowing more room and energy to be spent on its development. And after our love was so ruthlessly plucked, I found myself digging deep for love’s great truth and restoration.
There is a strong temptation that comes with the fatality of a relationship, whether it is a relationship with a parent or a loved one. The trauma that accompanies this tragedy causes me to NEVER want to experience it again. My head screams out “Warning!” every time my heart begins to peek open. Packaged inside love’s gift is a vulnerability that enables the seeds of intimacy to flourish. Without this vulnerability an intimate relationship shallows to just mere acquaintances, but it is also this vulnerability that leaves me pervious to carelessness.

In this vulnerability of love I am continually urged to grow. With every relationship (or loss thereof) I am stretched. With every mistake or hurt I have to choose to learn. Love is a risky business and there are no guarantees when it comes to trusting another person. The questions continually abound as my heart is planted and dug up. I must understand how to love and have discernment regarding love’s true nature.

Love’s only promise is this: you will feel. A heart incased in steel feels nothing. I know deep inside that in order to love, I must open up. But with so many hurtful brands of love in this world, I am tempted to throw away the key to the protective cage surrounding my heart. If I am going to be able to hold the gates of my heart open, I have to be watchful for love’s many facades. The first façade I will mention is selfish love. This kind gives only for the purpose of getting back. It is usually short lived; leaving behind flash fires and burnt bridges. Selfish love is neatly packed in sweet talk and smooth moves, wooing its victim to vulnerability before dealing the fatal blow. Another facade is selfless love. Selfless love gives to all who demand with the hopes of one day being able to fill the bottomless pit that fails to give back. Ones identity is wrapped up in the fact that they are the blood that keep the leaches alive. This kind of love is usually administered by very powerless people who pretend to have no needs. There is only one powerful person in the relationship and it’s not them. The third facade of love is drunken love (also known as blind love). Drunken love is fueled purely by an intoxicated state of emotions, usually brought on by desperation and fear. This dangerous love pushes past all the boundaries, failing to yield at the warning signs in pursuit of the fix. Drunken love is sure to leave you in a pile of sober regret with little or nothing gained.

There are many facades that mask themselves as true love but when I experience their fruit I find they lack the attributes of all that love encompasses. Those that partake in these falsities are left anemic and starving to death, thinking they have tasted of the real thing.

In order to find true love I have to know its attributes. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love’s characteristics beautifully. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Love is freedom… Love is wholeness… Love is honoring.

Take a look at the relationships in your life for a moment; do they have the 1 Corinthians 13 standard? Love without a standard is not love at all. It is brokenness finding a home! As I traverse down love’s path again, I am reminded of this truth. I am the only one who has the power to decide what type of relationships I will be involved in. I control my standard. Love is not love unless it costs me something. Love is not love unless it seeks only the highest good. Love is not love unless it leads to freedom.

Love is a gift; a gift I must be vulnerable enough to give, a gift I must hold to the highest of standards. When this gift is given and the seeds of intimacy are planted, when I hold the gates of my heart open, when I seek the highest good, it is then that I really grasp love; it is then that I have truly felt love’s flourish.

Doc: Mental health problems on the rise

Doc: Mental health problems on the rise

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